What the hell is going on now?

I have no idea what the fuck is going on any more.

Actually got to spend time with her tonight. By 'time', I mean sitting on the couch next to her, watching Netflix as she worked on a quilt. Now, don't give me that look. I'm not condemning her for that. It was for her pregnant sister and she, like her mother, is very excited about the baby.

It was the feeling that unnerved me. It felt like I was sitting next to a friend instead of my girlfriend. Like, someone who is close but not THAT close. It was like sitting on the couch next to any other one of my friends... if I'd want to grab their face and kiss them. Okay, bad analogy. My point is, it felt off.

Then, when I started to leave, she gave me a kiss on the cheek. On the CHEEK. Have we regressed to when we first began dating?! What the fuck? Well, finally got an actual kiss but it was light, very quick. Very... off.

Shouldn't describe kisses. Let's leave that to the story writing. But I digress.

It's things like that (kisses on the cheek) that are unnerving. Makes me think I did something... Maybe I did do something. She has been acting weird every since Valentines Day. Shit, maybe I should have given her something more than just a necklace. No, what am I saying? Gifts don't matter, right?

Right?

Anyway. If I did do something, I don't know what it is. Maybe she really was freaked out when I told her I probably not 100% lesbian. I mean, that would freak anyone out, right? But, I told her that I'm not looking for anyone else. Or tried to anyway. I'm not sure how much got through to her. I try having a serious conversation and what do I get?

"Oh look at that old woman driving that gold mustang."

....

I didn't make that up, I swear. So, maybe she doesn't want to talk serious. I would say I'm fine with that but I'm not. We NEED to talk. We hardly talk at all as it is! The only time I ever hear from her is when I text HER. Could call but that would be just a two minute conversation. An awkward one. We can't even HOLD a proper conversation!

Oh God, what the hell is the matter with me? I feel like I may love this girl but I can't even talk to her? You're just messing with me, right? Teaching me a lesson about dating women? Ah, I see. Haha, I'm on to you, sneaky bastard!

... Probably shouldn't call God a bastard. Sorry about that.

I think, I'm going to do my History outline and go to bed. Tomorrow, I'm going to call Ally and see what she's doing. If not her than... well I guess I'm staying in my PJs all day again.

... God, I really suck.

Prince & Thief Notes

This is all for my benefit and so I can keep track of it all.

-------------------------

Location of Story

- Kingdom of Nalfina

-- Nation on the Southern half of the Lysar Island

--- Capital: Seafole

---- Home of King Tolis Caesti & Queen Gairiel

----- Children

------ Sindara - 28 / married to King of Zeoneia

------ Aindira - 23 / Priestess in service to Nitia (Goddess of the Stars)

------ Andri - 17 / Heir to the Nalfinan Throne

------ Rinu - 14

------ Akyla - 8 / Born blind

------ Eiri - 5

--- Caesti Family have ruled Nalfina for hundreds of years, since the end of the

Blood Wars.

---- There is talk of overthrowing the Caesti in favor of the Roth'kel

----- Roth'kel

------ Blood relation to Caesti

------- Began with Oria, sister of King Yullra Caesti - founder of the Nalfinan

Kingdom.

- Nalfina

-- Geography

--- Seafole

---- Port City near the Gulf of Delore

----- Mainly military; exports various fruits, meats, limestone from surrounding hills

----- Lies next to Ama river

--- To the North

---- Edges of the Dal'eh Forest & grassland

--- To the South

---- Gulf of Delore & swamps and low lands (Basin of the Ama River)

--- To the East

---- Gulf of Delore

--- To the West

----- Swamps & grasslands

--- Forest of Dal'eh

---- Lies North-East of Seafole

---- Wraps around the Gulf, to the Hills of Dal'eh outside of Fade

----- Many believe the forest is haunted so the road is in disrepair and few travel through

--- Fade

---- Major Port City of Nalfina

----- Called the 'Jewel of Nalfina'

---- Difficult to get to by foot, due to the surrounding jagged hills (Hills of Dal'eh) and the haunted Dal'eh Forest.

---- City built upon a declining hill that leads into the sea

----- Most of the walls are white, made of limestone mixed with crushed seashells

--- Governor of the City : Talamur Galnur

---- Cousin of Prince Andri Caesti

--- Site of Temple of Flaril

---- God of Light, Sun and Life

---- Main Temple in Fade

Other Lands

- Malkit

-- Capital: Marl

--- Desert Country across the sea

--- [More Information needed]

---- Celestias may have come from Malkit

- Zeonian Islands

-- Kingdom of Zeoneia

--- Ruled by King Olris & Queen Sindara of Nalfina

--- Island nation to the South East of Lysar Island

- Seria

-- Continent across the sea

--- Kingdoms

--- Syssa

--- Atheal

--- Gabris

---- Cold Mountains rest by

[more to be added at a later date]

Breaking Ground

We all have terrible habits. Mine is starting something and not finishing it. It's a terrible habit, one that ranks evenly with procrastination (another bad habit of mine).

Well, by starting this little blog, I hope to cure that habit.

As my mother always says; "If you're going to do something, don't half ass it."

I think I'm disappointing her by not finishing things. They aren't major things, like for school or whatever. They're all personal. That game I never finished, even though I'm on the last level, or that story where I stopped writing mid-chapter. My documents folder is full of things like that. Well, my folders within my document folder. Turns out I like folders. They keep everything so nice and organized. If I'm looking for something, all I need to do is click that folder, click the other folder inside it and voilà! There is it. The only problem is when I resort my picture folders - mainly my Axis Powers Hetalia pictures. Oh boy, do I have a lot of those. See, while everything is all neatly organized, it totally screws up any AMV I might have been making at the time. There's obviously some mis-communication between the Hetalia Folder and Windows Movie Maker. One would think Microsoft would fix that...

Hm. Well, it's 1:51 AM now. I should probably go to bed but I've promised to post in some roleplays on Gaiaonline. I've fallen right back into that trap, though I'm not really struggling to escape. It makes the day pass quicker when I have something to do... even if it's actually nothing at all.

On another note, there may be some hope for a job in the near future. Today, I stopped by the Cinnabon place in Fiesta Mall before class and they said to bring in a resume. Hm, working at Cinnabon... I'd come home smelling like cinnamon rolls! That really wouldn't be too bad, considering I like the smell of cinnamon rolls. Oh, especially fresh ones, straight out of the oven and with new, melted frosting on top... Ugh, this is actually not helping clear my nausea. I think it was from de-boning that chicken which is odd, considering I'm not squeamish. =/ Perhaps it was the smell.